Productive Tension
The tension was building. Bill, the sales leader of one of my favorite teams, had just reported “done” for his Rock: Document the new sales process and develop funnel
metrics.
But Alice, the CFO, didn’t agree. “I know you say it’s done, but I haven’t seen anything. Can we really say a Rock is done if the leadership team isn’t aware of what has been done?”
Bill sat up straight, turned a little red, and said, “I’m so sorry, Alice. Since I own the Rock and we claim to be in a high-trust environment, I didn’t know I had to have my work approved by you.”
Alice wisely chose not to respond and the rest of the team focused intently on the color of the conference-room table. And then we waited while silence, the most powerful facilitation tool ever discovered, did its work. Finally, Bill said, “I’m sorry. That was a d**k response. I should have reviewed it with you all before today, but I started too late and didn’t have time.”
Alice took a risk when she challenged Bill. She cared more about the success of the company than her own comfort and enough about Bill to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. But what happened next was just as important: nobody rescued him. Nobody defended him. Nobody explained away his response. Nobody cracked a joke to relieve the tension. We let him sit in the discomfort and work his way through it.
The only person who corrected Bill was Bill, and the result of Alice’s risky move was not a damaged relationship with Bill but a stronger one. Alice and Bill understood each other a little better, the team got a little healthier, and everyone left with a clearer understanding of what a “done” Rock is.
Growth of any kind requires some tension, some discomfort. It’s like lifting weights: if we stop the minute it gets uncomfortable, we never build the muscle.
Alice challenged Bill because she trusted him enough to make him uncomfortable. The rest of us stayed quiet because we trusted him enough to find his way through it.
So next time you’re in a meeting and a difficult situation comes up, be silent and let the tension do its work.